When working with couples, I integrate Emotionally Focused Therapy with EMDR (eye-movement desensitization and reprocessing) because I've found that both people can use the things that really bug them about their partner as an opportunity to heal from past hurts. Along the way, you can expect me to teach you how to communicate vulnerably and respond empathetically to each other.
What you can expect in the first session:
Our initial session will be used to meet each other, talk about issues you are each having in the relationship, learn how to relax when you start to feel tense inside, and set individual goals.
Through this conversation, I will begin to get a better idea of the negative cycle that you and your partner get into during conflicts, that is triggering pain-points in your history.
After the First Session:
We will make a treatment plan together that targets each partner's earlier experiences that are being triggered and the present day triggers that you are experiencing in relationship with your partner. Each time you come in, I will expect you to have taken brief notes on what triggered you that week in the relationship. We will practice relaxation together and systematically work through our treatment plan until the past history feels much lighter and the present day doesn't feel as intense. Then we will work on ways to handle future situations in ways that would feel better for both partners.
Reach out today for a free fifteen minute phone consultation. Let's get you out of the negative cycle and into a positive one!
Call Amy today for more information:
How Often and How Long?
The amount of sessions required is dependent upon what your life history looks like. If you are highly traumatized people, more sessions will most likely be needed. I recommend double sessions (100 minutes) weekly if possible. If that's not possible, try to do 100 minutes every other week, or 50 minutes weekly. 50 minutes every other week will most likely make the progress feel slow. (It's like going to the gym every other week instead of three times a week.) Some therapy is better than no therapy!
I can't prepare you for all that life will give you, but I can help you process the history that you have experienced, learn how to process experiences together and teach you about your negative cycle and ways to get out of it during conflict. I'm also really big on pointing out red flags that you might not be paying attention to. We will also cover the major areas of life that couples need to discuss prior to getting married (sex, finances, children, world view etc) and check them out for any triggers or past history connected to those topics. I'd also recommend keeping my contact for after you get married because once the infatuation period of your relationship ends, conflict tends to increase, which is an invitation for greater healing and wholeness.
Don't Wait! Studies show that couples wait an average of 6-7 years before they call a counselor. What if my Partner Doesn't Want to Come Yet Relationships are systemic meaning if one person gets well, it has an impact on the entire system. I can't tell you what that impact will be, but if one person gets well it does effect the whole relationship. Change can start with you!